CS Rugby 1863 75 Havant 5

Shocking revelations have emerged that some CS rugby players drank more than one beer last Saturday evening at a social event that has been described by one source as :"Ten times worse than dwarf throwing."

A whistleblower spoke to our reporter on the strict proviso that his anonymity be preserved. " Under the so called guise of a court session senior guys were just pushing the boundaries, treating CS's league campaign like an old school tour", he said. " If it's the senior players leading drinking games or drinking until they can't remember anything, what example are younger players set?" he went on. And there was more: " Drinking games are unacceptable on a Saturday night . Even if you've paid a modest amount into a drinks kitty you ought to be able to show some self-restraint."

It is understood that head coach Stefan Smith is blameless in this public relations fiasco - he had no knowledge of the event and certainly took no part in it - but accusing fingers have been pointed elsewhere with another player commenting, " Why are we being given the clear message it's OK to get pixxed when we're rugby players on strict dietary regimes who have just beaten Havant 75-5 and we haven't had a court sesssion all season?"

Who knows where it all will end? There is complete uncertainty and no major city law firm is prepared to undertake the review of CS Rugby 1863 from top to bottom that it so desperately needs. As one legal big hitter explained, "We all know who your general factotum is and his reputation not only for wilful obstruction but also as a libel lawyer in the High Court of Justice in The Strand!"

The day had started so well with a very healthy and convivial gathering of ex-players , and in some cases wives , for a lunch of roast, and possibly slightly marinated, well done ox served in Desperate Dan sized portions, together with some at least of the usual accompaniments. Wine and good fellowship intermingled and there was great acclaim for Havant's Chairman who not only spoke from the heart about the predicament his club currently finds itself in and how it expects to come back eventually stronger from the experience , but who also paid a moving tribute to CS's very successful ex- coach and one-time Havant player,Tony Chapman, now coaching in Australia, which captured Tony's spirit and wicked sense of humour wonderfully and even conjoured up his image before our weeping eyes.

Havant predictably started bravely and it was not at all apparent at the start that there was such a gulf currently between the two sides. It was fully 15 minutes before the dam was holed as a result of one of the Stags' well organised driving mauls but then it was immediately breached again less than a minute later straight from the kick-off and it was apparent that the bottom of the table side were after all going to be in for a long and uncomfortable afternoon.

"Hav" were certainly very game and never gave up but they were no match for CS's muscularity up front or pace and vision behind and they in the end conceded 13 tries although they did have the deserved consolation of a try of their own. James Houston's speed and spacial awareness sliced open the visitors time and again and the fullback bagged four tries for himself with winger Ross Yiend also claiming three, one of which at least he even dived in for. He seems a player reinvigorated this season.

So a comfortable win for the Stags and, if there should be one minor blot, it would have to be that our now fully fit and restored first choice goal kicker, Scott Hadden, for all his excellent work with ball in hand, should have registered a kicking success rate of just 38.46%! Goalkicking - or rather the lack of it - has been a feature of too many of our games this season and it is certainly instructive that out of 44 tries scored to date only 17 ( so a remarkably similar average : just 38.63%! ) have been converted.

So what of the drinking culture now exposed : how serious is it and will heads have to roll? One old dinosaur was even heard to mutter the heresy : "The team that drinks together plays together."

And as if to underline the club's long history of aberrant behaviour how should the evening end? Why, by the miraculous re-appearance of a trophy believed sadly lost at the end of last season : The Pig, aka The Rob Murphy Memorial Award. Perhaps all was, after all, well in CS's firmament!

CS scorers:

Tries: James Houston (4)
Ross Yiend (3)
Melton
Tim Wells
Scott Hadden
Darryl Gore
Sam Glasson
Reed

Cons Hadden (5)